Personal Responsibility Should Not Be Controversial

Hi,

There is something going on in your life at this very moment that could make you a victim. It could be the fact that you don’t have as much money as your peers or maybe you’re in between jobs. It could even be the fact that you are Black, White, Asian, etc. Whatever it is, you could be a victim. You could say “Woe is me. The world is against me.” Or, instead, you could be a hero. You could be your own hero and you could save yourself. That is also an option that I think some people tend to forget. This is where I think personal responsibility plays a big role. People that are personally responsible for their actions (or inactions) do not usually see themselves as victims. To me, personal responsibility has three main pillars: Financial Responsibility, Wellness Responsibility, and Sexual Responsibility. I will discuss what I mean by all three.

Financial Responsibility

Regardless of your upbringing, your financial health is your responsibility. When you take out a car loan, student loan, mortgage, etc. it is your responsibility to pay it back in full. Not your parents, not taxpayers, not Elon Musk, YOU. It’s the same when you go on that shopping spree you didn’t need and max out your credit cards. It’s up to you to pay back the credit card company because you spent the money.

Financial Responsibility is especially important when we begin discussing planning for the future. Think of a retirement account. A lot of twenty-somethings aren’t thinking “I should max out my 401k this year” because retirement is such a far distant thought. What they don’t realize is that they’re missing out on decades of compound interest which could cost them 100s of thousands of dollars in the long run. With the amount of books and online resources available to learn about financial literacy, it is on you to plan for your financial future and act accordingly.

This is why I do not believe in student loan forgiveness. Why should taxpayers pay back loans that you decided to take out? We don’t forgive mortgages or car loans? So why should we forgive your bad financial decision making? What would someone that got a useless degree with 100k of debt learn if they got their loans forgiven? Nothing.

Wellness Responsibility

You are responsible for your physical and mental health. Both take effort to maintain and it is your job to maintain them. Exercising and eating right aren’t easy. That is why most people don’t do it. There is always an excuse for why they can’t but rarely a reason for why they can. “Oh I have a bad back” or “I don’t have time.” You have time. You just don’t want to. No one is gonna come tell you to workout or eat a balanced diet. If your physical health declines as a result, that is your responsibility.

If you’re going through a tough time mentally, it is on you to seek help. No one can force you to talk to a therapist and work through your issues. Someone could help you find a therapist or help you start meditating but ultimately it’s up to you to follow through to improve your mental health.

Sexual Responsibility

You are responsible for whatever happens as the result of a consensual sexual encounter. Whether you get an STI, get pregnant, or impregnate someone that is now your responsibility. When you lay with someone, even with protection and birth control, there is non-zero chance that life could be created or an STI is transmitted . This should be taken into consideration each time a sexual encounter takes place. Part of the reason, I am pro-life is because of personal responsibility. If you knowingly and willingly participate in an act that can create life, you cannot erase your problem. You have to own up to it. You are not a victim for partaking in something you now regret.

I’ve had a lot of crappy and unfortunate things happen to me in my 25 years. Things that would send a few people to prison if I decided to go to the police. But I have decided not to allow myself to become a victim though for a long time I did. I was almost 30k in student loan debt for money I didn’t even consent to being loaned as I was just 16 when I first attended college. Yet, I decided to pay it off myself so that I could move on to bigger and better things with my life. I could say “I’m a Black woman in the tech industry no one will ever take me serious” or I could show them why they should take me seriously. I refuse to be the victim of my own story.

I’m not saying that unfairness doesn’t exist in this world. The world is unfair by nature. I’m saying that how we decide to see ourselves in this world makes all the difference. So who are you in your story? The victim or the hero?

Thanks for reading.